Sunday, May 6, 2012

Despicable Me (Single-Disc Edition)

  • Condition: New
  • Format: DVD
  • AC-3; Animated; Color; Dolby; Dubbed; DVD; Subtitled; Widescreen; NTSC
“**** This Year’s COOLEST Animated Comedy!” â€" Jeff Craig, Sixty Second Preview

Get ready for a minion laughs in the funniest blockbuster hit of the year!

Vying for the title of “World’s Greatest Villain”, Gru (voiced by Steve Carell) â€" along with his hilarious crew of mischievous minions â€" plots to pull off the craziest crime of the century: steal the moon! But when Gru enlists the help of three little girls, they see something in him nobody else has ever seen: the perfect dad. From executive producer Chris Meledandri (Horton Hears a Who, Ice Age), and featuring the voices of an all-star comedic cast, including Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Miranda Cosgrove and Julie Andrews, Despicable Me is “rousingly funny, heartfelt and imaginative” ! (Pete Hammond, Boxoffice Magazine).Despicable Me is a compelling animated comedy about an aging supervillain's falling popularity at the hands of a younger supervillain and three young orphan girls. Gru is a true, bad-to-the-core evildoer who's earned the title of the world's No. 1 supervillain. But when young upstart Vector steals the Pyramid of Giza, Gru's status suddenly sinks to No. 2. Gru counters his fall by speeding up his plan to shrink and steal the moon, enlisting the help of his army of minions and the elderly Dr. Nefario, but a lack of funding and the difficulties involved in stealing the needed shrink-ray gun threaten to derail everything. Adopting three young orphan girls is an unlikely, but seemingly effective means to further Gru's evil mission, but Gru quickly discovers that caring for three young girls is more work, and distraction, than he could ever have anticipated. What unfolds is an unexpected shift in attitude that will forever change the live! s of Gru, Vector, and all three young girls. A visually appeal! ing film produced by Chris Meledandri (Ice Age, Ice Age 2: The Meltdown, and Horton Hears a Who), Despicable Me is full of weirdly shaped characters and settings that are somehow a perfect fit for Sergio Pablos's story. What's especially refreshing is that in this film, 3-D effects are used skillfully and effectively: even when the effects are exploited for comic reasons, they don't become a distraction, as is all too common in many recent movies. The film is full of corny banter and silly antics that inspire plenty of spontaneous laughter, and the minions, while not the best-developed characters, sure are comical. Ultimately, there's also a wholesome message about following one's heart. Steve Carell is the perfect villain-gone-soft in his role as Gru, Jason Segal is quite funny as Vector, and Julie Andrews makes a surprising appearance as Gru's very un-motherly mom. The story isn't new, the humor is relatively juvenile and somewhat forgettable, and it's ! no Toy Story 3, but Despicable Me celebrates silliness in a way that's satisfying and highly entertaining. (Ages 6 and older) --Tami Horiuchi

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Conspiracy Theory (Keepcase)

  • Action / Adventure
  • Drama
  • Suspense/Thriller
  • Conspiracy Theory (Keepcase)
  • Mel Gibson
New York cab driver/anti-government ranter Mel Gibson learns that a little paranoia can be a dangerous thing, as his latest conspiracy-busting newsletter brings him to the attention of some sinister CIA agents and puts his life, as well as that of Justice Department worker Julia Roberts, in deadly jeopardy. Director Richard Donner's compelling thriller also stars Patrick Stewart, Cylk Cozart. 135 min. Standard and Widescreen (Enhanced); Soundtracks: English Dolby Digital 5.1, French Dolby Digital stereo; Subtitles: English, French, Spanish; theatrical trailer.What is it about director Richard Donner that Mel Gibson enjoys so much that he's appeared in five of Donner's films? Is it the on-set pranks? Could it be the big-budget perks and $20-million paychecks? Or is it just a well-! stocked catering table? Whatever the case, the Lethal Weapon star and director teamed up again, along with fellow superstar Julia Roberts, for this typically glossy, entertaining but ultimately hokey thriller. Gibson plays New York cab driver Jerry Fletcher, whose wacky belief in conspiracies finally hits on a coincidental truth involving an evil figure named Jonas (Patrick Stewart) and a secret program of government-funded mind control. Roberts plays the Justice Department attorney who finally believes in Jerry's paranoid ramblings. With a plot (from LA. Confidential cowriter Brian Helgeland) that's a lot of fun as long as you don't think about it too critically, Conspiracy Theory benefits immeasurably from the charisma of its high-magnitude stars. --Jeff ShannonWhat is it about director Richard Donner that Mel Gibson enjoys so much that he's appeared in five of Donner's films? Is it the on-set pranks? Could it be the big-budget perks and $20-mi! llion paychecks? Or is it just a well-stocked catering table? ! Whatever the case, the Lethal Weapon star and director teamed up again, along with fellow superstar Julia Roberts, for this typically glossy, entertaining but ultimately hokey thriller. Gibson plays New York cab driver Jerry Fletcher, whose wacky belief in conspiracies finally hits on a coincidental truth involving an evil figure named Jonas (Patrick Stewart) and a secret program of government-funded mind control. Roberts plays the Justice Department attorney who finally believes in Jerry's paranoid ramblings. With a plot (from LA. Confidential cowriter Brian Helgeland) that's a lot of fun as long as you don't think about it too critically, Conspiracy Theory benefits immeasurably from the charisma of its high-magnitude stars. --Jeff Shannon

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Derailed (Unrated Widescreen)

  • TESTED OK
  • 2005 DATE
DVD.With a nasty villain and a plot twist that will take many viewers by surprise, Derailed is the kind of potboiler that's enjoyable in spite of its flaws. It's basically two-thirds of a good movie, with a convincing set-up and a barely plausible payoff that... well, you've just got to see it and decide for yourself. Like Fatal Attraction, it's a good-enough thriller that turns infidelity into every man's nightmare, beginning when Charles (Clive Owen), a well-to-do Chicago advertising director with a sickly, diabetic daughter and a slightly troubled marriage, has a chance encounter with Lucinda (Jennifer Aniston), a lovely and quick-witted financial advisor who's also stuck in a marital rut. Their chemistry is instant (between both characters and stars), but their eventual hotel tryst is interrupted by a mugger (French actor Vincent Cassel at his vil! e, despicable best) who's out to milk Charles for every dollar he's got. Of course, one phone call to the police would solve everyone's problems, but as he did with Collateral (albeit more convincingly), screenwriter Stuart Beattie turns up the tension with such manipulative skill that you're willing to skate past the plot holes and go along for the ride. With lively supporting performances by rappers Xzibit and RZA, Derailed marks a commercially slick American debut for Swedish director Mikael Håfström, whose 2003 thriller Evil was a Best Foreign Film Oscar®-nominee. --Jeff Shannon

Friday, March 16, 2012

Dead Guy Spy (Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie)

  • ISBN13: 9780765325075
  • Condition: New
  • Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
Dandy Dan McCracken is a rogue wandering around eastern Pennsylvania during the American Revolution. Wounded and on the run from the law, he's rescued and nursed to health by the lovely ward of Benedict Arnold's procurement officer. When the girl's husband returns from the front, McCracken falls in with British spies. He switches sides again as a result of love and becomes a hero, not through choice but circumstance.Dandy Dan McCracken is a rogue wandering around eastern Pennsylvania during the American Revolution. Wounded and on the run from the law, he's rescued and nursed to health by the lovely ward of Benedict Arnold's procurement officer. When the girl's husband returns from the front, McCracken ! falls in with British spies. He switches sides again as a result of love and becomes a hero, not through choice but circumstance.

Nathan Abercrombie is getting used to his rotten life as a half-dead zombie. The good thing is he doesn’t feel any pain. The bad thing is his body can’t heal, so he has to be really careful not to break anything. But that’s hard to do when his wrestling-obsessed gym teacher, Mr. Lomux, matches him up with Rodney the bully, who’s looking for any excuse to break his bones. Then one day, Nathan is approached by the secret organization B.U.M.â€"aka the Bureau of Useful Misadventuresâ€"which offers him a cure in exchange for his help. Nathan jumps at the chance to become the world’s first zombie spy, but soon discovers that B.U.M. isn’t quite what it seems. Can Nathan trust them?


Saturday, March 3, 2012

Fighting Tommy Riley

  • Tommy Riley is a self-destructive boxer with raw talent and a fiery temper. Marty Goldberg is a trainer with inner demons too dark to bring to light. As a team, these two volatile opposites just may have what it takes to find the second chance they never had. Boasting extraordinary performances that are devastatingly poignant and vigorously uplifting, Fighting Tommy Riley is a powerful look at the
FIGHTING TOMMY RILEY

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Wallmonkeys Peel and Stick Wall Decals - Avenue Montaigne 8e Arrt - 24"W x 18"H Removable Graphic

  • ALL orders CUSTOM printed. When you place an order, the image is made in the USA, just for you!
  • Printed on WHITE, premium, self-adhesive, re-positionable fabric paper.
  • No nails, frames or glue. No professional installation required.
  • Simply peel and stick! Easy to remove and re-apply.
  • BE SURE you ordered the right size for your intended use!
AVENUE MONTAIGNE centers around Jessica (Cecile de France) a beautiful young woman from the provinces who comes to Paris and lands a job waiting tables at a chic bistro on fabled Avenue Montaigne, the city's nexus for art, music, theater and fashion. Jessica's customers include a popular TV actress (Valerie Lemercier) who is courting a major Hollywood director (Sydney Pollack) for her first serious film role; a wealthy art collector (Claude Brasseur) who is about to liquidate a lifetime's worth of treasures at auction; and a! n illustrious classical pianist (Albert Dupontel) who is at odds with his manager/wife (Laura Morante) as to where his career is headed. Precisely because Jessica doesn't know how celebrated these people are, her guileless and completely unintimidated engagement in their lives has a transforming effect on them - and ultimately her.

This product is manufactured on demand using DVD-R recordable media. Amazon.com's standard return policy will apply.

French for "Orchestra Seats," Avenue Montaigne offers an outsider's perspective on an insular world (the original title is Fauteuils d'Orchestre). After bidding adieu to her grandmother (Suzanne Flon in her final performance), sunny Jessica (Cécile De France, L'Auberge Espagnole) moves from Mâcon to Paris. Upon securing a job as a waitress in a popular café, she meets high-strung soap star Catherine (Valérie Lemercier), burnt-out pianist Jean-François (Albert Dupontel), and secretive art colle! ctor Jacques (Claude Brasseur), who comes equipped with a pret! ty girlf riend and a handsome son (Christopher Thompson). Though the tousled Jessica has little in common with these posh Parisians, she affects each of their lives in ways both big and small. Directed by Danièle Thompson (La Bûche) and co-written with her son, Christopher, Avenue Montaigne serves as the flipside to French phenomenon When the Cat's Away, in which a young woman meets the people in her neighborhood while searching for an errant feline. In this case, the surroundings are more upscale, but the residents are just as susceptible to fear and insecurity. Though the idea of a sympathetic look at the upper class will surely strike some as off-putting, Thompson makes it work. The genuine affection she feels for her characters--privileged and underprivileged alike--and the grace with which she keeps several plot strands going at once proves that the spirit of Robert Altman lives on in the most unlikely of places. --Kathleen C. FennessyWallMonkeys wa! ll graphics are printed on the highest quality re-positionable, self-adhesive fabric paper. Each order is printed in-house and on-demand. WallMonkeys uses premium materials & state-of-the-art production technologies. Our white fabric material is superior to vinyl decals. You can literally see and feel the difference. Our wall graphics apply in minutes and won't damage your paint or leave any mess. PLEASE double check the size of the image you are ordering prior to clicking the 'ADD TO CART' button. Our graphics are offered in a variety of sizes and prices.
  • WallMonkeys are intended for indoor use only.
  • Printed on-demand in the United States Your order will ship within 3 business days, often sooner. Some orders require the full 3 days to allow dark colors and inks to fully dry prior to shipping. Quality is worth waiting an extra day for!
  • Removable and will not leave a mark on your walls.
  • 'Fotolia' trademark will be removed when printed.
  • Our catalog of! over 10 million images is perfect for virtually any use: scho! ol proje cts, trade shows, teachers classrooms, colleges, nurseries, college dorms, event planners, and corporations of all size.
  • Thursday, January 19, 2012

    The Expendables

    • Condition: New
    • Format: DVD
    • AC-3; Closed-captioned; Color; Dolby; DVD; Subtitled; Widescreen; NTSC
    Just because you grow older doesn’t mean you have to grow up! Comedy superstars Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider are at their hilarious and outrageous best playing childhood friends who reunite one holiday weekend to relive the good old days. It doesn’t matter that these five guys are now respectable businessmen, husbands and fathers. Once they get back together, nothing is going to stop these kids-at-heart from having the time of their adult lives. From the people who brought you Click, comes this hilarious and heartwarming film that proves men will be boys. Adam Sandler and his frequent costars (Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade, and Rob Schneider) grope blindly for maturity in the genial comedy Grown Ups. Five childhood ! pals are drawn back together after the death of their former basketball coach; over the course of a Fourth of July weekend, they--along with their wildly attractive wives (played by Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph) and precocious children--loosen up, try to introduce their kids to the simple pleasures of nature, air some dirty laundry, and rediscover their friendship. In other words, it's a fairly formulaic comedy that veers awkwardly from gags (ranging from slapstick to mean-spiritedness) to sentiment (ranging from sappy to not entirely sappy). Its appeal will depend entirely on your feelings about Sandler and the rest of the gang--if you like this bunch of lugs (in all their prolonged adolescent glory), then you'll like this movie. If you don't, you won't. Everyone's in relaxed but good form; affable is more the comic goal than razor sharp. Expect gags about being fat, being old, prolonged breast-feeding, ogling hot chicks, flatulence, etc. There's some role revers! al: it's the women, particularly Hayek as a type-A fashion des! igner, w ho need to learn the eternal cinematic lesson that family is more important than work. Featuring guest appearances from Tim Meadows, Colin Quinn, and Steve Buscemi. --Bret FetzerJust because you grow older doesn’t mean you have to grow up! Comedy superstars Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider are at their hilarious and outrageous best playing childhood friends who reunite one holiday weekend to relive the good old days. It doesn’t matter that these five guys are now respectable businessmen, husbands and fathers. Once they get back together, nothing is going to stop these kids-at-heart from having the time of their adult lives. From the people who brought you Click, comes this hilarious and heartwarming film that proves men will be boys.Just because you grow older doesn’t mean you have to grow up! Comedy superstars Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider are at their hilarious and outrageous bes! t playing childhood friends who reunite one holiday weekend to relive the good old days. It doesn’t matter that these five guys are now respectable businessmen, husbands and fathers. Once they get back together, nothing is going to stop these kids-at-heart from having the time of their adult lives. From the people who brought you Click, comes this hilarious and heartwarming film that proves men will be boys. Adam Sandler and his frequent costars (Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade, and Rob Schneider) grope blindly for maturity in the genial comedy Grown Ups. Five childhood pals are drawn back together after the death of their former basketball coach; over the course of a Fourth of July weekend, they--along with their wildly attractive wives (played by Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph) and precocious children--loosen up, try to introduce their kids to the simple pleasures of nature, air some dirty laundry, and rediscover their friendship. In other wo! rds, it's a fairly formulaic comedy that veers awkwardly from ! gags (ra nging from slapstick to mean-spiritedness) to sentiment (ranging from sappy to not entirely sappy). Its appeal will depend entirely on your feelings about Sandler and the rest of the gang--if you like this bunch of lugs (in all their prolonged adolescent glory), then you'll like this movie. If you don't, you won't. Everyone's in relaxed but good form; affable is more the comic goal than razor sharp. Expect gags about being fat, being old, prolonged breast-feeding, ogling hot chicks, flatulence, etc. There's some role reversal: it's the women, particularly Hayek as a type-A fashion designer, who need to learn the eternal cinematic lesson that family is more important than work. Featuring guest appearances from Tim Meadows, Colin Quinn, and Steve Buscemi. --Bret FetzerGROWN UPS - DVD MovieDanny Maccabee (Adam Sandler) meets the girl of his dreams (Brooklyn Decker) but has to enlist his loyal assistant Katherine (Jennifer Aniston) to pretend to be his soon-to-be ex-wife ! in order to cover up a careless lie. When more lies backfire, Katherine’s kids become involved, and everyone heads off to Hawaii for a ridiculous, out-of-control weekend that tests the limits of how far we’ll go for love.Misfit NYPD detectives Gamble and Hoitz (Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg) are sentenced to life behind the desk. They hate each other and the monotony of their meaningless jobs, as they’re forced to live in the shadow of the two biggest and most badass cops on the force (Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson). But when those guys go down for the count, opportunity knocks for Gamble and Hoitz. Stumbling onto what could be one of the biggest crimes in years, can The Other Guys step up their game to solve the case without killing each other and destroying NYC in the process? From the director of Step Brothers and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.Although the comedy team of Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg does not sound like a threat! to Laurel and Hardy or Abbott and Costello, they conjure up c! onsisten t laughs in The Other Guys, yet another comedy from Talladega Nights director Adam McKay. Ferrell plays a mild-mannered police accountant partnered with Wahlberg's hothead (recently demoted to desk-jockey duty after shooting a very famous Yankee player during the World Series), and both men must endure the showboating fame of a pair of supercops (Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson) in their New York City precinct house. Along with sending up cop-movie clichés, the movie basically exists to give Ferrell and Wahlberg room to work amusing variations on their characters (with grace notes for Michael Keaton's stereotypical tough captain, too). The loosey-goosey structure works especially well when Wahlberg is needling his partner's squareness or marveling, in wonderfully awestruck tones, at the unbelievable hot-i-tude of Ferrell's wife (Eva Mendes)--a discrepancy made all the more maddening because Ferrell seems indifferent to her charms. Throw in a plot about a ! billionaire Wall Street crook (Steve Coogan) and the revelation of Ferrell's hilariously dark past, and the movie finds a nice zone of silliness. Of course, any Will Ferrell vehicle must be judged by the opportunities for the star to launch into some borderline-surreal riff--and happily, this film comes through. From the moment Ferrell begins deconstructing Wahlberg's lion versus tuna metaphor, The Other Guys manages to find time for such nonsense, and the film--the world in general, for that matter--is the better for it. --Robert HortonHe electrifies the audience with a clever, animated style of comedy that cannot be duplicated and brings his audience to tears in this stand-up performance. He's hilarious as he pokes fun at everybody, but he's funniest when he's the brunt of the jokes! Fans who know him as the congenial host of BET's "Comic View: One Mic Stand" or from his outrageous characters in Soul Plane, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Scary Movie 3 and 4 and Sup! er Hero Movie will want to see Kevin Hart at his wisecracking ! best.Syl vester Stallone stars as Barney Ross, leader of The Expendables, a tight-knit team of skilled combat vets turned mercenaries. Hired by a powerful covert operator, the team jets off to a small South American country to overthrow a ruthless dictator. Once there, they find themselves caught in a deadly web of deceit and betrayal. Using every weapon at their disposal, they set out to save the innocent and punish the guilty in this blistering action-packed thriller.They might be expendable, but they sure are durable: The Expendables is crammed with well-traveled action heroes, called to a summit meeting here to capture some of that good old ultraviolent '80s-movie feel. Star-director Sylvester Stallone rides herd as the leader of this mercenary band, which includes Jason Statham, Jet Li, and Stallone's old Rocky V nemesis Dolph Lundgren. Mickey Rourke, looking like a car wreck on Highway 61, plays the tattoo artist who communicates the gang's assignments to S! tallone; throw in Terry Crews and Ultimate Fighting champ Randy Couture, and you've got a badass crew indeed. The specifics here involve a Latin American island where US interests have mucked up the local politics beyond repair--but when Sly's eye is caught by the feisty daughter (Giselle Itie) of the local military jefe, a simple job gets complicated. Adding to the B-movie flavor of the enterprise, we've got Eric Roberts and Steve Austin bouncing around as badder-than-the-bad guys, plus Bruce Willis popping in for a one-scene bit, and… well, perhaps another unbilled cameo. The violence doesn't reach the frantic pace of Stallone's last Rambo picture, but it builds to a pretty crazy crescendo in the final reels, during which each cast member gets to show his stuff. Although Stallone's face looks younger than it did in the first Rocky movie, his line delivery is more sluggish than ever, and what lines! The dialogue is stuck in the '80s, too. Although it's pret! ty ham-handed throughout, The Expendables is likely cri! tic-proo f: the audience that wants to see this kind of body-slamming throwdown isn't going to care about the niceties. Let the knife throwing begin. --Robert Horton

    Armageddon

    • When an asteroid the size of Texas is headed for Earth, the worlds best deep core drilling team is sent to nuke the rock from the inside.Starring: Ben Affleck, Steve Buscemi, Keith David, Will Patton, PeterStormare, Billy Bob Thornton, Liv Tyler, and Bruce Willis.Directed By: Michael BayRunning Time: 2 hrs. 31 mins.This film is presented in "Widescreen" format.Copyright 1999 Buena Vista Format
    From the blockbuster-making team who produced and directed PEARL HARBOR and THE ROCK (Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay) comes the biggest movie of 1998 -- ARMAGEDDON! Starring the explosive talents of Bruce Willis (DIE HARD), Academy Award(R)-winners Ben Affleck (GOOD WILL HUNTING) and Billy Bob Thornton (SLING BLADE), Liv Tyler (INVENTING THE ABBOTTS), Steve Buscemi (CON AIR), and Will Patton (INVENTING THE ABBOTTS), ARMAGEDDON is a meteor storm of action-adventure moviemaking that has you on the edge! of your seat forgetting to breathe! When NASA's executive director, Dan Truman (Thornton), realizes the Earth has 18 days before it's obliterated by a meteor the size of Texas, he has only one option -- land a ragtag team of roughneck oil drillers on the asteroid and drop a nuclear warhead into its core. Spectacular special effects, laugh-out-loud humor, great characters, riveting storytelling, and heartfelt emotion make ARMAGEDDON an exhilarating thrill ride you'll want to experience like there's no tomorrow.The latest testosterone-saturated blow-'em-up from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay (The Rock, Bad Boys) continues Hollywood's millennium-fueled fascination with the destruction of our planet. There's no arguing that the successful duo understands what mainstream American audiences want in their blockbuster movies--loads of loud, eye-popping special effects, rapid-fire pacing, and patriotic flag waving. Bay's protagonists--the eight c! rude, lewd, oversexed (but lovable, of course) oil drillers su! mmoned t o save the world from a Texas-sized meteor hurling toward the earth--are not flawless heroes, but common men with whom all can relate. In this huge Western-in-space soap opera, they're American cowboys turned astronauts. Sci-fi buffs will appreciate Bay's fetishizing of technology, even though it's apparent he doesn't understand it as anything more than flashing lights and shiny gadgets. Smartly, the duo also tries to lure the art-house crowd, raiding the local indie acting stable and populating the film with guys like Steve Buscemi, Billy Bob Thornton, Owen Wilson, and Michael Duncan, all adding needed touches of humor and charisma. When Bay applies his sledgehammer aesthetics to the action portions of the film, it's mindless fun; it's only when Armageddon tackles humanity that it becomes truly offensive. Not since Mississippi Burning have racial and cultural stereotypes been substituted for characters so blatantly--African Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Scotti! sh, Samoans, Muslims, French ... if it's not white and American, Bay simplifies it. Or, make that white male America; the film features only three notable females--four if you count the meteor, who's constantly referred to as a "bitch that needs drillin'," but she's a hell of a lot more developed and unpredictable than the other women characters combined. Sure, Bay's film creates some tension and contains some visceral moments, but if he can't create any redeemable characters outside of those in space, what's the point of saving the planet? --Dave McCoyThe 1998 testosterone-saturated blow-'em-up from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay (The Rock, Bad Boys) continues Hollywood's millennium-fueled fascination with the destruction of our planet. There's no arguing that the successful duo understands what mainstream American audiences want in their blockbuster movies--loads of loud, eye-popping special effects, rapid- fire pacing, and! patriotic flag waving. Bay's protagonists--the eight crude, l! ewd, ove rsexed (but lovable, of course) oil drillers summoned to save the world from a Texas-sized meteor hurling toward the earth--are not flawless heroes, but common men with whom all can relate. In this huge Western-in-space soap opera, they're American cowboys turned astronauts. Sci-fi buffs will appreciate Bay's fetishizing of technology, even though it's apparent he doesn't understand it as anything more than flashing lights and shiny gadgets. Smartly, the duo also tries to lure the art-house crowd, raiding the local indie acting stable and populating the film with guys like Steve Buscemi, Billy Bob Thornton, Owen Wilson, and Michael Duncan, all adding needed touches of humor and charisma. When Bay applies his sledgehammer aesthetics to the action portions of the film, it's mindless fun; it's only when Armageddon tackles humanity that it becomes truly offensive. Not since Mississippi Burning have racial and cultural stereotypes been substituted for characters so ! blatantly--African Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Scottish, Samoans, Muslims, French ... if it's not white and American, Bay simplifies it. Or, make that white male America; the film features only three notable females--four if you count the meteor, who's constantly referred to as a "bitch that needs drillin'," but she's a hell of a lot more developed and unpredictable than the other women characters combined. Sure, Bay's film creates some tension and contains some visceral moments, but if he can't create any redeemable characters outside of those in space, what's the point of saving the planet? --Dave McCoy

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